Lately I’ve been having these moments during the day where I have these super vivid memories of places I’ve visited over the years. I’ve been wondering why they’ve been popping up for me, now. I am a big day dreamer, but these have been some of my own very treasured moments in time that come over me with a flood of joy.

(I want you to clean this up and make it more coherent and, remove repetitive parts, make it more intelligent and engaging to read. maybe also provide reflection for me to thing about why I could be writing about this)

The hypochondriac within me thinks that subconsciously I’m ill and it’s my body’s way of cherishing some of my best memories before I go. But I just sit there in them, enjoying the details, thanking myself for whatever inside me decided to bring it to my attention. This has been happening for the last two months where I can account. Mid morning memories flood through me; like; floating leaf boats down the stream with new friends while camping this summer, or standing on the banks of the calm seaport cove in Newfoundland admiring the vibrancy of the houses in the backdrop admiring the stillness and reflections off the water, or the joy of walking under the dense canopy of trees in Kauai with my then partner just cherishing a companion to enjoy such an outstanding atmosphere with.

I quit my job in August 2024. One of the best decisions of the year. It’s been 6 months of eb and flow of emotional release and joy. I believe part of these beautiful reflections have been just cleaning space for more positivity and grace.

To be steady, I feel like I entered the eye of the storm, that now I must be intentional with every move while the world shifts around me. I must remind myself of my values and keep my footing - not get lost along someone else’s tracks, but carve my own path. Practicing keeping myself anchored towards my own goals. Maintaining rhythm rather than control.

Practice kindness, share and learn together,

I’d been feeling so much pressure in my personal life and emotional distress from my day job that I’d become so fatigued. I would dread having to go in to work and when I got home I was a vegetable. I am naturally a happy bright person but this was draining me to my core.

It took me a good amount of time to realize that I just couldn’t live up to others expectations of what others wanted for me. Pressure. I sent in my resignation to my toxic job on a Sunday night and dropped off my laptop the following day not looking back.

I vowed to myself that I would not allow myself to be in a toxic environment that was not inspiring, supportive and positive to my health and wellness. It took me weeks to fully breathe deeply again.

I’ve stuggled in many areas of my life because of this free spirit within me. This playful “childlike” energy. I quote “childlike” because to some degree it causes me distress when i’m referred to as that. I have this playful side of me that doesn’t want to take life too seriously, and I cherish this outlook on life. I am a highly sensitive human, easily triggered by situations that are too heavily emotional for me to handle. So part of me copes with this energy to make light of the good things, to keep smiling and to remain hopeful.

I’ve struggled acknowledging that I am who I am and that part of my personality is this silly carefree girl who just wants to enjoy the simple things in life. I deeply enjoy this sense of play, and I genuinely appreciate all the little moments life offers me.

Part of my practice and what I hope to bring to my work is this understanding that you only have each moment. And you have to trust yourself and your abilities, this it your only life so why waste it worrying about what others think of you.

I understand that I have some growing up in some areas of my life and I am okay with that, but I refuse to let others beat me down where I stand and where I am at. Everyone will go though this life at their own pace, and all we can do is be there to support and encourage one another. I hope to leave a lasting impression, one of hope, courage and trusting your gut.

In 2018 that I realized I was going though some deep emotional changes. I was experincing what my doctor kept trying to label as depression, in early 2014. I fought against the belief that I was “depressed”. I kept telling myself “If I believe i’m depressed of course I will become depressed”. So I kept pushing on, I feel like that year I spent a majority of it crying. I was in my first few years as an independent in college. College was a wake up call for me that I wasn’t prepared for. A whole new level of independence and less instrution and guidance of authority figures telling you what to do. I struggled with the adjustment and having to learn how to ornagize and life my life on my terms. I took full advantage of this new flexible lifestyle and enjoyed my newfound freedom.

Years go by and now I am working in the field of my choosing, I land this great job with the title of “creative designer” at an Interior Design Firm. My dream come true! I had the creative freedom as such a junior in my field and was killing it, taking on large scale projects and working in a great office.